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Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
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5:45 am
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I want this stuff!
...but your presence is present enough.
Be there by 10pm so we can rock out together.
Remember dudes, the fact that you have to work the next day is NO excuse! You don't HAVE to drink. You can at least pop in to say "Hi"
The music will be supplied by me so you know it'll be good.
current mood:  tired
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| Wednesday, May 31st, 2006
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4:37 pm
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Tuning out. Shutting down. Shutting off.
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| Saturday, May 27th, 2006
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11:30 pm - So yeah...
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I like totally made this
HECK YES for The Autumn Project coming back again. HECK YES for me getting to make the poster for the show. HECK YES for me being back from going out of town. Traveling just isn't for me. HECK YES for me getting another new rat. Pictures later.
current mood: tired
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| Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
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11:44 pm
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SOUL PATROL!!
current mood:  happy
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| Friday, May 19th, 2006
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11:38 am
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I don't know what's up with that gross look on my face
It's uhm...much lighter than planned. I'm hoping to fix that soon. Also, hair not ruined thank you very much. Also, I have a sty in my left eye and it hurts a lot.
Also,
They made me wear that mask because of the cough.
current mood:  sleepy
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| Tuesday, May 16th, 2006
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9:53 pm
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Fine you jerks. Don't help me out with my hair dye decisions. I know you've read it and I know you've decided not to reply. I have a tracker. So there.
I wish people would stop lecturing me about damaging my hair. #1 you have no idea what you are talking about #2 you have no idea who you are talking to
In other news: I went to the doc today and now I have an inhaler, antibiotics and benzonatate pills as well as a prescription for codeine cough syrup...he has no idea what the hell is wrong with me. I've been coughing for a fucking month and a half as well as blowing my nose every five seconds. He ignored the snot stuff completely and concentrated on the cough. He listened to my lungs and x-rayed my chest, only to find nothing wrong which I told him in the first place.
Also, my new rat not only has a cold but a tumor as well.
current mood:  cranky
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5:35 pm
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Should I stick with brown or go back to blonde? Yes it IS brown NOT black! It just looks black in pics. I'd show you photos of each but my photos are NOT a proper representation of what I look like. In some I look better blonde, in some I look better brunette...so just guess and pick one.
I mean, I'll probably go blonde anyway because it's my natural haircolor and this dark hair shit is hard to keep up with blonde roots but I'm not 100% yet.
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| Thursday, May 11th, 2006
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4:21 pm - I've got a new sweetheart!!!
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Her name is Turd Ferguson. Yes, that was my plan before I even got her but it turns out that this lady poops A LOT and her turds are huge so, the name ended up being quite fitting. She's a pretty sweet girl...we snuggled for an hour or so last night. She hid her head in the crook of my arm and I just sat and pet her while she bruxed away. She's a shy little thing and terrified, I'm sure. She has nipped me twice and hopefully won't do it again. I won't give up on her. She's mine for good!
I think she has a cold and actually might be pregnant so I'm taking her to the vet as soon as possible. I'm realllly hoping she's sneezing because she's stressed/nervous over her move away from her cagemates instead of being sick because I loooove her! I wouldn't mind if she was pregnant, really. Her belly is hard and round but her nipples aren't protruding so I'm really not sure. I'm hoping it's not that something's wrong with her. I've got her in quarantine away from my other darling for the next month, regardless.
Isn't she a dollface!?
Here's a picture of my other sweetheartdollfacebebegirl hanging out in her mac n cheese house:
current mood: in love with my cute cutie cute cutes
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| Monday, May 1st, 2006
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1:32 am - I finally did it
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I've wanted to do this for awhile, but have been putting it off because I knew that it'd take me hours and be super huge. I was right. I have this compulsion to have them all in order of which I discovered them. I did start out that way but, kept forgetting things and having to start over so eventually, I just gave up. About half way though, it gets random...however, it's still me. All of these albums have made me who I am today, whether I still like them or not, they were very important to me at one point in time. Most of them still are.
( This is who I am )
current mood:  complacent
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| Monday, April 24th, 2006
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12:10 am
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People are so fucking cruel sometimes. It always starts out with me being nice to them or just going on about my business and them shitting all over me and then rubbing it in my face.
Also, some asshole teenage boys stole the saddle off my bike that I just bought for $30. That is a whole lot of oney to me. I mean, that was a major splurge. It had to be done though because my bicycle seat is like concrete. Well, now it's gone and I can't imagine being able to afford a new one.
I hate teenagers. I even hated them when I was one. I hung out with pretentious college students and dudes in bands at coffee shops when I was a teen as much as possible just to escape being grouped in with those idiots...however, I was a teen also so I broke down quite a few times. I can safely say though that vandalism and theft were not for me. Teenagers will steal anything that isn't nailed down and if it is nailed down, they will probably break it. If you catch them, they react as if they had every right to do what they'd just done and like YOU are the moron. The word respect means nothing to them and they think the world owes them everything. Teenagers are what will probably stop me from having kids. I can handle small children with their messes and tantrums...but teenagers...fuck that. They are pure evil.
I have the worst luck with bikes. Every single one (and I've had A LOT) gets stolen, trashed or something stolen off of it. I can't even tell you how many times a year I end up having to replace the tubes because some jerk decided to puncture them. I don't even have any enemies...these are just assholes that can't handle walking past something like a bike and not ruining it. Generally, every other bike in the area of mine ends up the same way. Apparently I'm not supposed to use my bike for transportation because whenever I do, it gets fucked with...even in broad daylight.
I'm still okay...I'm not like hitting bottom here. I'm just really pissed off right now.
current mood: pissed off
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| Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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3:11 pm
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I deleted myself from consumating.com today and now I don't even know what to do with myself. Good lord that site is out of control! I mean, it's just plain unhealthy.
Aaron, I'm sorry but you're on your own.
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| Sunday, April 16th, 2006
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7:58 am - Dude, seriously
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Apparently, sleep will not be happening anytime soon. Man, I am getting sick of this. That stupid trip got my already fucked up sleeping "schedule" even more fucked up.
I'd like to say that I'm going to stay awake all day and then go to bed at what I feel to be a decent hour...like 2 or 3am...but I know that I won't. I don't do caffeine (makes me shit and get all stomach hurty in any form, except maybe a few sodas but that won't keep me awake) and when I get tired, I get TIRED and there is no chance in hell I'm going to pass up the opportunity for a good nap. I figure that it will eventually work itself out.
In other news...I'm going through this thing where I'm attracted to this guy, mostly because he has a hot mouth and that's ALWAYS what gets me, and I know I could have him BUT I also know that it won't go anywhere. I mean, I know that my feelings will not get past the point they are currently at and he seems to be the type of guy where he would probably fall for me and then I'd end up hurting him...but of course, I'm selfish and wanna go for it anyway. I'm not going to, I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure that this is basically what happened with Randy and I (either that or it was the thing where he wanted me, he got me and then didn't want me anymore BECAUSE he got me. Conquest.) and I know how much that sucks but, y'know. At least I'm admitting it. I'd be willing to tell the guy this in advance. Really though, unless I'm drunk and feeling forward, chances are I will just continue acting like he pretty much doesn't exist. Yup.
So basically, my sex drive disappeared for like 3 months and now it's back with a vengeance. That sort of thing would make ANYONE get really selfish.
current mood:  awake
current music: INXS- Bitter Tears
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6:12 am
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My computer is fucked up. It wouldn't boot for over 24 hours so I couldn't get on but now, here I am. My dad's gonna look at it today and hopefully get this shit figured out before I lose all my stuff because he thinks it's a hard drive issue. Also, I'm a moron about computers.
I went out Friday night and it started out okay. I had all these lady friends of mine all grouping together talking about how beautiful I was...now if only they were hot dudes. We were at the VFW and I had a few drinks and some nice chats. Some of us moved on to The Aquarium where I started not feeling well and just generally didn't really want to be there. The music was too loud for talking and I couldn't seem to get near the folks I really wanted to hang out with. I ended up going home in a cab with Andrea.
Saturday, I stayed in. I've been feeling really anxious all weekend and can't seem to stop smoking. I don't usually smoke at home but, I'm out of control. All of these stupid little fears and worries keep bothering me and then coming true...which is kind of good in the way that I won't have to worry about it anymore but gee whiz, I just want to be normal for awhile and stop having these issues that continuously plague me.
At least none of them have anything to do with Randy. I think I'm just about over that. I mean, I feel over it but you never know when that shit is gonna jump up and bite you in the ass again.
One of them, of course, had to do with my mother. I ended up having to call her voicemail and tell her that I didn't want anything to do with her anymore...which was REALLY hard and I feel awful about it because I don't HATE her. I just know it really hurt her feelings and probably made her cry. I don't like doing that to anyone, even if they probably deserve it.
current mood:  sad
current music: Helium- Silver Angel
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| Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
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5:07 am - My trip to Portland...as posted in my MySpace blog
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This is going to take like, ten years of my life.
When Bryce Clambey and I arrived in Portland after a 33 hour train ride which I mostly slept through, we ate lots of greasy food immediately and it almost killed me but after a nap in my basement bedroom at Mary & Weez's and a shower, I was good as new. Out on the town we went. Okay, I'll stop there with the intense details and just get on with the pictures. ( Read more... )
current mood:  accomplished
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| Monday, March 27th, 2006
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4:33 am
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In less then 24 hours I will be getting on a train and going to Portland, Oregon. Fucking FINALLY. I've been meaning to go out there for years now. I know a total of 23 people out there these days. Ridiculous. I don't really know what Mary's plans are but I hope I get to see at least a few of them. I know she's renting a beach house and it's my friend Howie's birthday...but other than that, who knows. It's in Mary's hands because she's paying for everything.
I have A LOT of stuff to do today and I don't want to do any of it. I just want to lay around until it's time to go. I'm not looking forward to the train ride but, I gotta do what I gotta do. I'm bringing lots of road trip food, a gallon jug of water, my Phase 10 cards, magazines, sleeping pills, my pillow and I'm wearing my bathrobe instead of my jacket so I'm comfortable and can use it as a blanket as it's super long and warm. Yeah, I really don't give a shit what people on the train think about that. My friend Bryce is coming with so I'll also have company. I hope he brings a bottle of jagermeister.
I need to make some train worthy mix tapes today. Yes, tapes. I don't have a discman or an mp3 player and I don't want them either! Only certain songs are appropriate for road trips where you are listening to headphones and staring out the window. I should have done that over the weekend but I pretty much slept through it. I seriously could not get out of bed. Oh shit...I need to buy batteries! ...and antacids!
My sister is watching the lil ratty bebe beeber cute cutie cute cute. I miss her already. I keep wanting to go over to her cage and kiss her but she's not there!
See ya'll in ten days or so. I'll have plenty of pictures, of course.
current mood: happy
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| Thursday, March 16th, 2006
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5:53 pm
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I got rid of the glasses and am growing out the brows after an over tweezing incident
I'm not laying down, I'm up against my livingroom drapes using the sunlight out my window as a flash. Sometimes I don't think I know what I actually look like. I mean, I don't think this is it.
Randy had urged me to get contacts at one point in time because they hid my eyes, when we snuggled they poked him in the chest, I often complained about them and I really just kept forgetting to go in and order contacts. I finally remembered to make the call one day and they said that because it had been over a year since I had worn contacts I needed a new fitting but since it had been less than a year since my last eye exam, my insurance wouldn't cover anything. They said my year was up in March so, I waited it out. They, of course, failed to mention a bunch of extra charges and I pretty much got screwed whilst there. Not cool. Anyway, I got one pair for now and next month I might order more. I really am sick of my glasses. I know everyone likes them and they are so me blah blah blah...but I'm fucking sick of them being the focus of my face. There's a gal with a lovely set of eyes behind those frames!
Also, I know I haven't been replying to comments much and I apologize for that but my net connection is shit and half the time my replies don't go through and I eventually just give up...so it's not like I haven't been trying. It's slower than dial up, I swear...yet it's supposed to be high speed. There's nothing they can do, unfortunately. I live in a really bad place for wireless reception. It will probably take me at least 45 minutes to get this to post.
current mood: tired
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| Sunday, March 12th, 2006
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2:23 pm
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She is so terribly misbehaved but oh so adorable and I love her to pieces. Unfortunately, I'm severely allergic to her. When I first got her, I was fine. I had plans on getting her a companion and had also started plans on building a much bigger cage for them both to live in...but then the allergies hit HARDCORE. I am constantly blowing my nose, my eyes are ALWAYS red and itchy, I get hives on my lips (I don't know why but that always happens when I have allergies) and I generally just want to scratch my face off. I've sneezed four times since I started writing this post. I keep her cage clean and I make sure she doesn't cover herself in her own pee and poo and I keep the area around her cage clean but it is not helping. I thought I'd get used to it after awhile but it's actually just getting worse. I am MISERABLE.
I tried to find someone to take her but I couldn't and I felt so awful about it and I feel so awful that getting her a companion is completely out of the question at this point. The other day she peed on my arm and it BURNED. I had a red mark there for hours and hours...and if she scratches me or walks on me at all, I get red bumpies, which is normal, but they get huge and last for days and itch and itch and itch.
I'm going to the doctor soonish to see about allergy shots or medication because I have general allergies anyway (I'm allergic to everything) but if my insurance doesn't cover it, I'm fucked. We'll see what happens. I love her so much!
current mood: allrgied out
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| Thursday, March 2nd, 2006
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5:38 pm
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| Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
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8:24 am - Oh Nikki...NWS
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| Friday, February 17th, 2006
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11:10 pm - I did it
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http://kevan.org/johari?name=amber_nickel
Dudes, I do NOT want to know about the Nohari window stuff. Holy crap...however, I was completely honest on the ones I filled out and on most of them I was the ONLY one that filled them out...so now I'm in trouble. Oh well.
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